Good afternoon or evening, do not know what you got there. In general, this is not for me and a special problem, it is quite bonalno, I think everyone is familiar - it's the opposite sex, men. How sometimes they can be difficult to understand what they expect from us, what they want.

I tell you my story, I have to vyskazastsya, and no one, or rather is, but I can not, it is impossible to overcome myself and tell my mother or my close friends about their experiences. Such is the man that I am, keep it all inside, and often suffer from this. When they see me busy and ask what's wrong, I want to, really want to speak, but it turns out only say "okay".

Well, perhaps I'll start. A typical day was then, training (in college studying), I do not remember exactly which day of the week, but not so important. In pairs catch nothing special, but to sit anyway necessary, may be lucky to get a positive assessment or write off successfully from a neighbor. After anxious waiting, the bell rang change. My friend and I went to climb on the floor, which is used as a warm up, went down to the first floor, approached the schedule, I like that zasmotrelas..zadumalas..slyshu somewhere behind girlfriend scream "go soon! "I abruptly turn around, take a step, and I feel at something soft under my feet ... I lift my head, is a young man, it's so spontaneous, quickly proizlshlo that I do not have time to Horo see, I did not even apologize, but in addition is slightly pushed and that it is probormatala.

Perhaps I would have forgotten it altogether, if it does not act. He knocked to friends in contact. Initially, I did not recognize him, and then in the course of the correspondence turned out to be the guy that I stepped on the foot. We talked quite nice, every day he wrote to me, calling on Skype. However much sympathy I have it did not cause. I still remember how in the dining room wished him a good appetite, and he nearly choked))

And that's how he managed to drag me to the movies. There were a comedy, the film was quite interesting and funny. After a bit, we walked, he talked about himself, how he wants to marry, children, it surprised me, because he is only 18 ended with a walk that we exchanged a few gentle phrases of that spent the evening well, and embrace.

The next time we have walked the company, I, my friend, he and his friends. It was good, we threw snowballs, fun.

Then I do not know for what reason we stopped to chat. Just say hello to college and everything. But I still did not know he liked me or not. I am a friend hinted that I miss him, for guys. I was sad. As I wrote to him, "Are you hurt? "His response was followed by passive and cold. I saw him in college with the other girls, they are cute besedovali..ya terribly jealous, just bad mood ..

I began to have forgotten it, to depart from this condition, when suddenly .. He again prispichelo to provoke me, it is suitable grab me from behind, then the hand that I skhavit..posle long departed, so I shudder, hands, knees shaking ..

And here again, we have to communicate like, again, I began to get used to it and realized that it was not just friendly affection.

That's how we came to walk the same company, my friends, his friends. First we waited for them in torogovom center. Oh God, it chuvtsvo not describe me as a fever, shaking, heart pounding wildly, like a bud, I sat waiting for the verdict suda..podrugi boltali..a nemogla I even talk .. Then I heard a phone call, but it's my phone, displayed his number .. I pick up the phone, he says something, I like to listen but do not hear ..

Slowly I turn around and go see them .... Yes face appears vague smile and excitement tolko added. We shook hands, sat in and went to climb the city, I calmed down a bit. Found a playground and began to develop it)) First we had skated poravozikom a hill, then he swung me on the swings. How much I have hurt my hands, I did not want to fall and remained with all his might, but still could not resist one last time and fell upon him))

There were a lot of moments that are very nice to remember and at the same time hurt .. because again silence, feeling bud that none of this, and was not, we still zdorovaemsya..no as familiar acquaintances ......

Those songs that he threw, I sometimes listen to, and the roar of a choking, I do not understand it, why all this had to do, so why play? Initially, he did not like me, but then he was able to so strongly tied me to him .. I am almost every day I think about him and it's annoying me already,

I can not, it hurts me to see him as he walks joyful, as if nothing had happened and I torment myself ..

Perhaps it was infatuation or love nemu..no that it was not, what would I want to hurry it over, because almost every place reminds me of it, just pop those moments ... nastalgiya and breathes sadness, sorrow, tears welling .

As soon as I have a little zybvayu ego..on starts me dreaming! Well, and what ?! What for? I wrote a couple of poems about it, think lay out later.

My position is interesting not only because I was expecting a child. This magic happens with every woman, with a few exceptions. My position is interesting by the fact that I'm going to bring up her son without his father. One gets a very sad trend - nowadays there is little surprise anyone single mothers. And it hurts the question - why is this happening?

I am very happy woman! I believe that for every person the most important thing in life - children, and it is very natural that people want to have children! It is unnatural, when a person does not want to have children, especially when the person is already under forty.

That's what happened with the father of my child .  He is older than me for fourteen years, and we worked with him in the same company .  It is quite a banal story, office romance, affair: I am a young free woman, he is an adult wealthy man .  In the modern sense, we did not do anything wrong - just met, went to the cinema, cafes, etc. . d . I knew he was an inveterate bachelor and womanizer, but I did not need a serious relationship .  We are not gods, and each person is subservient to earthly passions and temptations .  So I gave in .  And events have gained quite an unexpected turn for me to welcome, for it is not: the New Year I got pregnant .  I realized that with me that something was wrong even before it applied to the consultation .  Not fully aware of what was happening, I instinctively began to protect themselves more .  T . to .  I absolutely do not accept alcohol, I'm not worried that I would stay for the New Year without a glass of champagne - it did not seem strange to anyone .  But the time has come to know the great mystery, and I went to the consultation, where all was confirmed .  I was incredibly pleased, and I did not care what others say .  I decided to give birth in whatever was .  But dad had a different reaction - it did not need a child .  That I was ready to accept, but I was not ready to accept his offer is very cruel and immoral .  A few days later I went to the hospital with threatened miscarriage .  He apparently felt guilty in front of me began to call, come, buy medicine and food ... But I will never forget his words: "It is necessary to you? Do not ruin your life! "Do you think I'm for wasting ??? It's the most beautiful thing that can happen to a woman !!!

Then he sort of changed his mind: to six months we were together, even decided to live together, he said he would give his name to the child that will educate him. But it did not come from any initiative, and the words, "When you start to bring up his son? "He laughed and said that he was not born yet! But it is no secret that the education of the child begins in the womb.

Now I am in the seventh month, and his father, we do not see each other and do not talk for two months. The kid is already familiar to all: he finds her grandmother very happy appearance grandfather and uncle, quietly feels and is not worried in the presence of my friends. But a father he does not know. I do not regret that I ran away with him - it was my initiative. I do not forbid him to see his son, by means of also did not give up, even though she will not ask for anything. I have a favorite parents who dream of grandchildren, I have close friends and loyal friends who support me.

I dreamed about the baby, and I can accept gifts of fate! This child is given to me by the gods, the next baby will be given to me by my husband. I was thinking about how to somehow keep the relationship: after all, the son of the father is necessary, moreover, it is able to provide me and the baby, because I soon will not materially wealthy. But then I thought, but really to be good for the child, if I live with unloved man? If we constantly make trouble and to swear, it is unlikely it will benefit my little son. My great love him enough for two, and it will have a full family with my mother and grandparents. Once I zareklas and so be it, I will never marry either by calculation or because of the baby! Just out of love! A spruce love in this world I do not meet, it is not very upset: my very dear and close to me a man with me now and I will never be alone!

Besides, how could I not try, I can not forget his words in the first our conversation and fear in his eyes. He really afraid of it! Adult male and scared! My child does not need a father-a coward. I give her son his name. Still, my feminine curiosity bothers me: I wonder how he will behave when the baby is born? And his hot blood and pride still want to look at their child.

But that's another story, and yet ... all washed diapers, crib is assembled, and I'm all waiting for a miracle that will appear in the fall! Be all happy as I and all of you the best!