Many of us really want to love and be loved. It would seem that this one does not interfere! Falls for his health, and falls in love with himself! Once coincide with one another, and personal life will improve. Everything is easier ... But for some reason, many men and women can not normally arrange this very private life. What is the reason for their loneliness? The fact that we are often aloof attitude from what subconsciously are afraid of love. The fact that it is and how to fight it, we'll talk.

The causes of fear of love

How can we explain the emergence of the fear of love? It seems that the answer is obvious: failed relationships in the past. Once tormented soul closes shield from past pain, not wanting more to reach out to someone. But there are a lot of both sexes, which it has not stopped. And they are ready to fall in love again, despite the defeat of the old. Why does someone have a fear of love, and someone not?

The reasons are many. It happens that a feature of relations with the opposite sex imposes an indelible imprint of a first love. A strong and vibrant, it generates in the human thirst for the same acuteness feelings. All of the following choices compared to the first lover and not up to his level. The slightest deviation from perfection is not allowed here. Compromise on a man fixated on his first love, do not intend to go. As a result, very high standards of requirements raised destroys the very possibility of a life of true love.

Sometimes the fear of love arises from the fear of losing yourself in a partner and the desire to preserve their own "I" intact. And sometimes it is due to an unconscious fear of communication with the opposite sex. Basics such a state, as a rule, are laid in childhood. For example, if the father suppressed the daughter and her mother troublesome son, then a girl and a boy may be a persistent rejection to men or women. And close contact with them, of course, will be hampered.

Stir accept love insecurity and constant doubt their own attractiveness. They give rise to the fear of betrayal and inspire belief that you can not trust anyone. Otherwise, they hurt or take advantage of credulity to their advantage. Typically, this confidence arises from those who survived infidelity. This may be a caring father of the family, and the sudden detachment of a close friend, and the perfidy of the first partner ... Actually, it is crucial in recognizing fear of rejection in love. And the fear of love does not arise when there is no doubt that the partner will not refuse.

It should be noted that in our time the basic life values ​​become career, professional interests, the possibility of self-realization and personal freedom. In society there is an out of nowhere who took the view that love is an obstacle to achieving these goals. They say it interferes with focus on something specific, ties the hands and inhibits thinking. That runs excessively preoccupied himself a person from any attachment to someone.

If we get used to the fact that in the first place in my life is the importance of a professional, we reflexively build their relationship on the type of career or business. That is, before making a move, thinking about the associated risks, calculate the costs and determine the profitability of their own benefit. And if you take a positive decision, it becomes extremely demanding elect. He has to meet all our expectations with a vengeance. Otherwise it will be dismissed. Such a pragmatic approach to love destroys the very essence of it, because that does not allow to really get close to another person.

In general, the main reasons for the fear of love based on the fear of losing something. As far as the fear of loss is justified and whether to give it so much importance? Expedient if the fear of love, and whether to get rid of him?

What to do with the fear of love?

When thinking in terms of pragmatism, the love, like, do not really need. It prevents to concentrate and think clearly, forcing all the time to think about the other person and pushes for reckless acts! What kind of personal freedom and professional progress then we can talk?

That's the way it is. But the fact that the fear of love can only be the one who in it really, really needs. Only myself this is not recognized. A subconscious need for love indicates that it is necessary for a feeling of complete self-fulfillment. Yes, at first falling in love knocks out of the rut and prevents a person to think straight. This is normal. Strong emotional outburst alters perception of reality. But the same spike opens all barriers on the way to the maximum expression.

Man needs the experience of love. And no matter what it - positive or negative. And in fact, and in another case, the love contributes to the progress of the internal forces and to look at myself and at the world differently. No fear in love, so loving person ceases to fear that, in his opinion, threatened him before. He is not particularly thinking, it is easy to rotate to what until now and was afraid to approach. And this is done and mutual, and unrequited love. With mutual feelings - for the sake of a loved one, if unrequited - to prove to everyone, including him, and yourself, that you are capable of much. Of course, if it's true love, not a love relationship.

People who tend to fall in love again and again, in spite of past failures in relationships, understand this. For them, the feeling of love - the perfect way to development in all directions. It is a tool that lifts the domestic terminals and helps to solve the most complex problems. But for such a powerful feeling has found its true purpose, you need to take a loved one as an isolated individual. And do not dissolve in it, forgetting about yourself. We can not allow too close psychological contact with their loved ones. It generates aggression, directed on a partner and himself. This is due to the destruction of the boundaries of protected area to which the mind reflexively resist.

To love the way nature intended, you need to have a certain sense of "I". This will be respected and their identity, and the identity of the partner. And do not be afraid of the pain of unrequited love. Because if the soul hurts, it means that our "I" improved psychologically matures. Opening to love another person, we can better learn their essence and we can appreciate the scale of their own capabilities. And we get the opportunity to move forward fearlessly. After all, there is no fear in love!

What are the women? Someone once said that all women are the same. Nonsense! It was a poor dork fantasy, and all the women he considered only as females. Or get it scandalous and terrible wife, and he bedolga thus tried to calm himself. Well, or something else ... But it will not. These men are well aware that we are all different. And their dissimilarity can unscrew the brains of even the most intelligent members of the stronger sex. This is to reduce losses to a minimum of brains, these clever female characters and divided into categories. Commercials guidelines that allow to communicate with the weaker sex to adhere to at least some logic. That we exist without it perfectly, and men need logic! Otherwise - the confusion, wandering and other troubles. So, let them come up with our classification. But we do know what we are awarded the status.

As men see women?

That it was necessary to say this - all women are the same! Nothing of the sort! Even animals of the same breed have raznosortnyh characters. What to speak of the weak half of humanity! If we were the same, except the king would lose men in mind when communicating with us? Each of the women at any time able to throw so that the ceremony will drive in a stupor anyone. Including her. What can we say about men, whether they even genius ... Of course, it is easier to divide us into types, in order to have at least some idea of ​​what the ladies from a particular category to expect.

Okay, just give them a try the characters of women to a common denominator. What can you do, man, they are men. It is better to look at which categories they have distributed. And decide whether these categories are true. From the point of view of men are:

Women Malvina

This is an extremely self-confident ladies dictatorial. Malvina love command and convinced that everything around will not budge without their guidance. This woman, to pay special attention to their appearance. Flawless makeup, carefully matched to a particular occasion clothes, neat haircut - their strong point. Poor man! Even in bed Malvina is trying to maintain the status and may be the worst possible time to attend to the state of their own species. Why have its partners there is a strong feeling that they have sex with a robot.

I must say that Malvina prefer to choose with whom and when they sleep. They are capricious, overly demanding and capricious. Men are afraid of women of this type - you never know, it will drag you into bed, or will send out. Therefore, strong, self-sufficient by men prefer not to mess with Malvina. But spineless namby-pamby stick to him like bath sheets. However, Malvin is quite satisfied - sniveller for misconduct can be regularly and severely punished. A man with a separate number does not pass. He will unfold and leave. And Malvina immediately hate Karabas-Barabas this;

Type of women - Cinderella

Cinderella, according to its prototype of a fairy tale, unpretentious and modest girl. Her hard work goes beyond all reasonable boundaries - Cinderella ready to plow for days. She can not deny the requests and can operate freely. Cinderella will stick overtime, to sit with someone's kids on weekends, to borrow money indefinitely ... But to lie with a man in need - pipes. In the intimate area of ​​life Cinderellas reliability does not apply.

Fans of lung relationship is nothing to catch. Cinderella to persuade sex would be like attempting to partisan interrogation - it is easier to shoot than to achieve something. It can only belong to his prince. Those who fit into this image, will be pleased. Cinderella is not conflicted, thoughtful and rather sexy. In any case, they are affectionate and did not oppose the experiment in bed. Well, if you get tired of all the Prince, and he wound up princess look - released without presenting claims;

Type of women - Thumbelina

Thumbelina - a lovely woman in need of assistance and protection. Treasure of their dream - to find someone who will solve all the problems. In this regard, Thumbelina illegible. Elf met reliable? Great. After all, he is young and handsome! I met an elderly fat mole? Same goes. What matters is that next to him was calm and warm. And if there is neither one nor the other, it is possible to have several "moles" and "elves." Let each of them help at least in some ways. Crane, for example, repair, or buy a new fur coat.

Thumbelina can be of different sizes, from fragile to quite solid. However, they always give the impression of helpless little girls who need a caring and attentive guardian. From what kind of sexuality are a woman of this type depends on how quickly they agree to have sex with "guardian." Usually Thumbelina solved it at once, and only when necessary. They can pull a long time, causing the "guardian" serve him faithfully. However, if he is decisive, strong man, Thumbelina happy to go to bed on the first night. Her imperious need to take a hand and bring home. Or hotel;

Type of women - Venus de Milo

Oh, Venus, our men are extremely attracted to! This type they refer all women with a stunning figure. Person in this case irrelevant. The main thing - chest high, steep hips, shapely legs. If a woman having a body, defile on the beach, male gender, regardless of age, flows into the intellectual collapse. And for a long time it remains in this state even after Venus will disappear from view.

These sexy ladies flexible, considerate and do not really fluctuate much before going to bed with a new acquaintance. But only if he likes. Unlike Dyuymovochek, Venus is not ready to go to an intimate relationship with those who provide services to them. They're a goddess! Men should only be happy by the fact that they deigned attention, and not to think about sex, if Venus does not drag itself into the bedroom. Well, when drag, there's need to be on top.

Venus, of course, good. But there is one major flaw - the lack of hands. No hands something they have, they are only meant for manicure and More for something. And yet. No cooking, no cleaning, no Venus can not be washed. Yes, they even do not know how to go shopping, not that do something with their holёnymi handles. Money Venus is better not to trust - it will go for bread, will spend on the real nonsense all the finances, and will not buy bread. To address these issues the goddess required servants. Otherwise, the house will hullabaloo, and in the refrigerator - one to hang the mouse;

Type of women - Harpy

Harpy - a notorious stinkers. It is notorious, not to play such a role because of the circumstances. It Thumbelina, Venus, Cinderella, Malvina necessarily can pull the mask bitch. And for a short while. Harpy such by nature. Male for it - the object to which it is imperative to avenge all women's grievances. Harpy reasoned like this: "There is nothing stronger sex impunity mock the weak! Look, dispersed here! I'll show you gruel! "And the show. Sometimes a fist on the table (or the head), and sometimes - a blow to the psyche.

This Baba Yaga in a relationship with the opposite sex recalls Malvina. She Wants - exalt man to heaven, will want to - use and throw, and then break as boring toy. Also try it in this fight or just to show discontent! Typhoon "Catherine" will be provided. You can even not doubt - Harpy King will be able to make a collector of bottles. And then I did not regret it.

Oddly enough, but the Harpies by men for some reason like. Perhaps they like all the time staring at the gruel. Or risk the royal throne. One way or another, but on the harpies they respond with respect and even admiration. That, they say, what a woman! Any man to "quietly" put! However, when you consider that men need and shakes battle, their attitude towards women-Harpies can understand. Talking to her, even when it is based on mutual attraction - the eternal war in which so wants to win! Sometimes someone from the stronger sex is even succeed. But not for long.

Here are what a woman with a male perspective. No, there is "pusechki", "paws", "warm pads" and "beautiful ladies" who dedicate poems. But they are, in the opinion of men, are less common than the above types of women. Well what can I say? Perhaps, in some ways they are right. But, most of all, just very poor knowledge of our psychology.